She hadn’t known this ability, but once Bela Nova said so, it became her truth.
“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you
don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not
doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or
less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have
problems with our friends or family, we blame the other
person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will
grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive
effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason
and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no
reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you
understand, and you show that you understand, you can
love, and the situation will change”
―
don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not
doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or
less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have
problems with our friends or family, we blame the other
person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will
grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive
effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason
and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no
reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you
understand, and you show that you understand, you can
love, and the situation will change”
―
“We tell people to follow their dreams, but you can only dream of what you can imagine, and, depending on where you come from, your imagination can be quite limited.”
― Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood
― Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood
“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”
―
―
“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That's the message he is sending.”
―
―
“Language, even more than color, defines who you are to people.”
― Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood
― Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood
Oprah's Book Club (Official)
— 87012 members
— last activity 48 minutes ago
Welcome to the official Oprah's Book Club group. OBC is the interactive, multi-platform reading club bringing passionate readers together to discuss i ...more
Vegan Cooking & Cookbooks
— 1326 members
— last activity Mar 19, 2026 11:13AM
A group to share and discuss vegan cookbooks and related resources.
Lori’s 2025 Year in Books
Take a look at Lori’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
More friends…
Favorite Genres
Polls voted on by Lori
Lists liked by Lori

































