Ashley

“Yes Headwoman Azaze. But I never lie to Rosethorn. She, um, discourages it."
"Evvy and I have an understanding." She grabbed the teakettle and poured hot water into the mug. "She tells me the truth, and I don't hang her in the first well we come to. It's a solution that works tolerably well for both of us.”
― Tamora Pierce, Melting Stones

“You didn't kill him. He would have killed you, but you didn't kill him."
"So? He was stupid. If I killed everyone who was stupid, I wouldn't have time to sleep.”
― Tamora Pierce, In the Hand of the Goddess

“Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.”
― Ray Romano

“Now it was just the three of us: the leader, the warrior, and the kid about to wet his pants. Guess who I was.”
― D.J. MacHale