Kieran

“For me, the true miracle of childbirth is that smart, rational people with jobs and the ability to vote look at these half-melted fleshy blobs, their heads misshapen from being squeezed through a pelvis, covered in five types of horrendous gunk, looking like they’ve spent a good two hours rolling around on top of a deep-pan pizza, and honestly believe they look beautiful. It’s Darwinism in action, an irrational love for your progeny. The same hardwired desire to keep the species going that sees them come back to labour ward for round two, eighteen months after the irreparable destruction of their perineum.”
― Adam Kay, This is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor

“At Victoria Station the R.T.O. gave me a travel warrant, a white feather and a picture of Hitler marked “This is your enemy.” I searched every compartment, but he wasn’t on the train. At 4.30, June 2nd, 1940, on a summer’s day all mare’s tails and blue sky we arrived at Bexhill-on-Sea, where I got off. It wasn’t easy. The train didn’t stop there.”
― Spike Milligan, Adolf Hitler: My Part in his Downfall

“Any room for one more?’ I said. ‘Sorry old boy, this is a one-man trench.’ I dived in head first as fresh shells landed. ‘Well now it’s a bloody two-man trench.’ I tell you! They are willing to let you die rather than move over! The shelling stopped. I got out and returned to duty – more shells – I found a small depression in the lee of some rocks. ‘Where are you,’ shouted a voice. ‘I’m in a depression,’ I said. ‘Aren’t we all,’ was the reply.”
― Spike Milligan, 'Rommel?' 'Gunner Who?': A Confrontation in the Desert

“(Orthopaedics is basically reserved for the med school’s rugby team – it’s barely more than sawing and nailing – and I suspect they don’t ‘sign up’ for it so much as dip their hand in ink and provide a palm print.)”
― Adam Kay, This is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor