

“If you do not know where you come from, then you don't know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you're going. And if you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.”
― I Shall Wear Midnight
― I Shall Wear Midnight

“So on a summer’s day waves collect, overbalance, and fall; collect and fall; and the whole world seems to be saying “that is all” more and more ponderously, until even the heart in the body which lies in the sun on the beach says too, That is all. Fear no more, says the heart. Fear no more, says the heart, committing its burden to some sea, which sighs collectively for all sorrows, and renews, begins, collects, lets fall. And the body alone listens to the passing bee; the wave breaking; the dog barking, far away barking and barking.”
― Mrs. Dalloway
― Mrs. Dalloway

“Mexican Loneliness"
And I am an unhappy stranger
grooking in the streets of Mexico-
My friends have died on me, my
lovers disappeared, my whores banned,
my bed rocked and heaved by
earthquake - and no holy weed
to get high by candlelight
and dream - only fumes of buses,
dust storms, and maids peeking at me
thru a hole in the door
secretly drilled to watch
masturbators fuck pillows -
I am the Gargoyle
of Our Lady
dreaming in space
gray mist dreams --
My face is pointed towards Napoleon
------ I have no form ------
My address book is full of RIP's
I have no value in the void,
at home without honor, -
My only friend is an old fag
without a typewriter
Who, if he's my friend,
I'll be buggered.
I have some mayonnaise left,
a whole unwanted bottle of oil,
peasants washing my sky light,
a nut clearing his throat
in the bathroom next to mine
a hundred times a day
sharing my common ceiling -
If I get drunk I get thirsty
- if I walk my foot breaks down
- if I smile my mask's a farce
- if I cry I'm just a child -
- if I remember I'm a liar
- if I write the writing's done -
- if I die the dying's over -
- if I live the dying's just begun -
- if I wait the waiting's longer
- if I go the going's gone
if I sleep the bliss is heavy
the bliss is heavy on my lids
- if I go to cheap movies
the bedbugs get me -
Expensive movies I can't afford
- if I do nothing
nothing does”
―
And I am an unhappy stranger
grooking in the streets of Mexico-
My friends have died on me, my
lovers disappeared, my whores banned,
my bed rocked and heaved by
earthquake - and no holy weed
to get high by candlelight
and dream - only fumes of buses,
dust storms, and maids peeking at me
thru a hole in the door
secretly drilled to watch
masturbators fuck pillows -
I am the Gargoyle
of Our Lady
dreaming in space
gray mist dreams --
My face is pointed towards Napoleon
------ I have no form ------
My address book is full of RIP's
I have no value in the void,
at home without honor, -
My only friend is an old fag
without a typewriter
Who, if he's my friend,
I'll be buggered.
I have some mayonnaise left,
a whole unwanted bottle of oil,
peasants washing my sky light,
a nut clearing his throat
in the bathroom next to mine
a hundred times a day
sharing my common ceiling -
If I get drunk I get thirsty
- if I walk my foot breaks down
- if I smile my mask's a farce
- if I cry I'm just a child -
- if I remember I'm a liar
- if I write the writing's done -
- if I die the dying's over -
- if I live the dying's just begun -
- if I wait the waiting's longer
- if I go the going's gone
if I sleep the bliss is heavy
the bliss is heavy on my lids
- if I go to cheap movies
the bedbugs get me -
Expensive movies I can't afford
- if I do nothing
nothing does”
―
Akankshya’s 2024 Year in Books
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