Becky B

“Don't be disgusting.
Don't dare me. I majored in disgusting at Gulag Community College. Lucrezia Borgia taught cooking, and Madame Defarge taught knitting. Emperor Nero taught violin and also led the cheerleading squad. I skipped all my classes and failed with distinction.”
― Gregory Maguire

“You can't have a heart attack and leave me an orphan. You know I'd just blow all our money on drugs and rock'n'roll."
"All the best heroes are orphans," Dad said. "You'd be in good company, if you went on a quest or something." He looked at the other girls. "You're not orphans, are you?"
"Not me," they both answered.
"You'll never amount to anything....”
― Robison Wells, Dark Energy

“Dad turned to Kurt. "You must be the boy I keep hearing about."
"I guess so," Kurt said.
"Well, Kurt," Dad said, "just remember that I specialize in tying things to rockets and sending them into space. And sometimes they accidentally blow up."
"Dad."
"You'll have no reason to kill me, sir."
"Kurt. You make sure she doesn't cry, okay?"
Dad smiled happily at Kurt and then sagely at me.”
― Robison Wells, Dark Energy

“There is a type of girl who, while incapable of cleaning her bedroom even at knife point, will fight for the privilege of being allowed to spend the day shoveling manure in a stable.”
― Terry Pratchett, Soul Music