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To build and maintain hope, we need three things: a sense of control, a belief in the value of something, and a community.32
“Raising teenagers is not for the fragile, and that’s true even when everything is going just as it should.”
― Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
― Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
“In good marriages, partners can help their children appreciate what they should and shouldn’t take personally in the other parent’s behavior. My husband has told our daughters that I’ve been clean crazy for as long as he’s known me and that he stopped taking it personally years ago.”
― Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
― Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
“shame is one of the last places we, as parents, want to land with our kids. Indeed, the capacity to shame a child is one of the most dangerous weapons in our parenting arsenal. Shame goes after a girl’s character, not her actions. It goes after who she is, not what she did. Shame has toxic, lasting effects and no real benefits. Once shamed, teens are left two terrible options: a girl can agree with the shaming parent and conclude that she is, indeed, the bad one, or she can keep her self-esteem intact by concluding that the parent is the bad one. Either way, someone loses.”
― Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
― Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
“All relationships come with ambivalence. Knowing someone well means that we enjoy the best of what he or she has to offer and must reconcile ourselves to being frustrated and disappointed at times, too. Acknowledging your own crazy spots (and, perhaps, your partner’s) welcomes your daughter to these facts of life. Don’t hesitate to extend this same lesson to adults beyond your home as well. When we help girls let go of the idea that there are perfect people or perfect relationships, they move into a vastly more mature way of dealing with people as they are and the world as it is. And on your end, too, remembering how to hold on to good feelings when we are angry or disappointed will come in handy because sometimes your daughter will do things she’s not supposed to do.”
― Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
― Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
“Talking about your crazy spots not only saves your daughter the work of trying to change your fully formed personality, it also builds her emotional intelligence. In its more basic form, your daughter’s emotional intelligence will help her to consider competing mental states. But when you teach her about your crazy spots, you are taking her emotional intelligence up several notches: you are inviting her to think about your motivations in a broad perspective that includes past experiences and relationships. By encouraging her to expand her insight beyond what’s happening in the moment, you’ll advance your daughter from varsity level emotional intelligence (“Why does Mom act psychotic when I track mud through the house?”) to the pros (“Mom acts psychotic because she didn’t have to share her space when she was growing up, so she doesn’t always handle it well now”).”
― Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
― Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
KC’s 2025 Year in Books
Take a look at KC’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
1,970 books
|
84 friends
590 books
|
86 friends
495 books
|
57 friends
4,039 books
|
128 friends
371 books
|
133 friends
162 books
|
25 friends
152 books
|
5 friends
898 books
|
37 friends
More friends…
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