Beaugiejuice

“This is Poyo. Poyo was exposed to a near-lethal amount of radiation as an egg, during the first stages of a government experiment to create mutant super soldiers--trained in exotic martial arts technique by Tibetan Kung Fu fightin' monks--and given strange bio-enhancements during a rash of farm animal abductions by extra-terrestrials. Nah, just kidding. None of that shit is true. Poyo is just really, really bad ass.”
― John Layman, Chew, Vol. 4: Flambé

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Doors are for people with no imagination.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant