Jordan

“Third, we assume that whenever shame is dealt with properly, all interested parties will be happy about it. Our story from John 9 reminds us that this is not always the case. Naming and despising shame, while liberating, will also necessarily reveal all who are actively responsible for propagating it. It would not be hard to imagine, for instance, that when Jesus heals the man, creating space for God’s works to be revealed in him (v. 3), he necessarily confronts a community that has understood this man’s life in terms of something that was wrong with him. There was no evidence of people rushing up to Jesus, urgently asking him to come and heal their blind friend. Healing did not bring comfort and joy to the neighbors. Rather, it brought distress. And whenever genuine acts of goodness evoke responses of distress, you can count on shame being at work, accusing those very neighbors, albeit unconsciously, of their complicity.”
― Curt Thompson, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves

“We push back against the inertia of systemic shame through the weight of a body of people who are collectively engaging in trusting confession, reminding each other of the “great cloud of witnesses.” Thus, the need for us to be regularly gathering in places where we are “finding” each other, just as Jesus found the blind man after he had been put out of the synagogue (John 9:35). He found him and gave him the reward for his trust—seeing Jesus face to face.”
― Curt Thompson, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves

“First, shame is not something that infests only individuals. It is endemic in systems, and any system run by it will seek to maintain its equilibrium. Shame will not share its authority.”
― Curt Thompson, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves

“It is equally true that in order for me to be liberated from the shame I carry, I need someone to be able to say to me, “You’re right. You were wrong to have done this.” I need to hear that my behavior was really as bad as I think, if not worse, while simultaneously sensing that the person I am confessing to is not leaving. Shame has the effect of coaxing us into pretending that sin is not as bad as it seems; for if it really is that bad, and I have to face it, it would be too much and I fear I would be overwhelmed. When someone seeks forgiveness for the wrong they have committed, we who have been wounded must be able to acknowledge the reality of the pain inflicted if forgiveness is to be real, and if the offender’s shame is to be effectively healed.”
― Curt Thompson, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves