Eugene Treakle

“Heinrich replied, “The fact that Kramer’s radio station has  been wiped out by the British Navy in now classified information!”
― Michael G. Kramer, His Forefathers and Mick

“No word of commiseration can make a burden feel one feather's weight lighter to the slave who must carry it.”
― Walter Scott, Rob Roy

“That is a death I will think of often and with great fondness.”
― Gabriel F.W. Koch, Steel Blood

“But why do only unimportant things?" asked Milo, who suddenly remembered how much time he spent each day doing them.

"Think of all the trouble it saves," the man explained, and his face looked as if he'd be grinning an evil grin--if he could grin at all. "If you only do the easy and useless jobs, you'll never have to worry about the important ones which are so difficult. You just won't have the time. For there's always something to do to keep you from what you really should be doing, and if it weren't for that dreadful magic staff, you'd never know how much time you were wasting.”
― Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth