Briar Munn

“Thick, basically. Just thick. Dumb as a bag of hammers. Not too bright there, Valkyrie."
"You can really stop complimenting me now."
Skulduggery pulled her gently into a hug, and patted her back. "You brainless moron. You simple-minded cretin. You're a half-wit. A dimwit. An imbecile. You're as sharp as a marble. Thick as a ditch. not the sharpest knife, nor the brightest crayon, and not the brightest bulb. you just fell off the turnip truck. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
She laughed. "Please stop talking.”
― Derek Landy, Armageddon Outta Here

“The fact is that we have no way of knowing if the person who we think we are is at the core of our being. Are you a decent girl with the potential to someday become an evil monster, or are you an evil monster that thinks it's a decent girl?"

"Wouldn't I know which one I was?"

"Good God, no. The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer

“Skulduggery took a small spool of thread from his pocket and started wrapping it around the door handles.
"That'll hold?" Valkyrie asked sceptically.
"This is Resolute Thread. The more pressure applied, the stronger it gets. It's very rare. They say it was made from the stomach lining of an emperor dragon, over 2000 years ago."
"Was it?"
"No, it's just really strong thread.”
― Derek Landy

“Valkyrie patted Fletcher’s arm. “Don’t worry,” she said. “If the bad man comes, I’ll protect you.”
“If the bad man comes,” Fletcher responded, “I’ll bravely give out a high-pitched scream to distract him. I may even bravely faint, to give him a false sense of security. That will be your signal to strike.”
“We make a great team.”
“Just don’t forget to stand in front of me the whole time,” he said.”
― Derek Landy, Death Bringer