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She's Not Sorry
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by Mary Kubica (Goodreads Author)
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William Golding
“Sucks to your ass-mar!”
William Golding, Lord of the Flies

Rachel Bertsche
“But on a Sunday morning when I want to grab an omelet over girl talk, I’m at a loss. My Chicago friends are the let’s-get-dinner-on-the-books-a-month-in-advance type. We email, trading dates until we find an open calendar slot amidst our tight schedules of workout classes, volunteer obligations (no false pretenses here, the volunteers are my friends, not me, sadly), work events, concert tickets and other dinners scheduled with other girls. I’m looking for someone to invite to watch The Biggest Loser with me at the last minute or to text “pedicure in half an hour?” on a Saturday morning. To me, that’s what BFFs are.”
Rachel Bertsche, MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search For A New Best Friend

Jim Gaffigan
“If camping is so great, why are the bugs always trying to get in your house?”
Jim Gaffigan, Dad is Fat

Lemony Snicket
“It is likely I will die next to a pile of things I was meaning to read.”
Lemony Snicket

Jim Gaffigan
“I wasn’t ready for the guilt of being a parent. I was raised Catholic, so guilt is a familiar friend. Guilt is as much a part of the Catholic culture as is rooting for Notre Dame. I grew up with a “God is watching you, so you better not make him mad” mentality. I felt guilty for feeling good, for feeling bad, and for feeling nothing. Attending Confession was supposed to alleviate some of the guilt, but I always ended up feeling guilty for not telling the priest everything I felt guilty about, so I stopped going to Confession. Then I felt guilty that I stopped going to Confession. That’s a lot of guilt. Just when I thought that nothing could top “Catholic Guilt,” I became acquainted with “Parental Guilt,” which totally puts “Catholic Guilt” to shame. Sorry, Catholic Guilt. Now I feel guilty for shaming you.”
Jim Gaffigan, Dad Is Fat

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