Natalie

“Sucks to your ass-mar!”
― William Golding, Lord of the Flies

“I wasn’t ready for the guilt of being a parent. I was raised Catholic, so guilt is a familiar friend. Guilt is as much a part of the Catholic culture as is rooting for Notre Dame. I grew up with a “God is watching you, so you better not make him mad” mentality. I felt guilty for feeling good, for feeling bad, and for feeling nothing. Attending Confession was supposed to alleviate some of the guilt, but I always ended up feeling guilty for not telling the priest everything I felt guilty about, so I stopped going to Confession. Then I felt guilty that I stopped going to Confession. That’s a lot of guilt. Just when I thought that nothing could top “Catholic Guilt,” I became acquainted with “Parental Guilt,” which totally puts “Catholic Guilt” to shame. Sorry, Catholic Guilt. Now I feel guilty for shaming you.”
― Jim Gaffigan, Dad Is Fat

“If camping is so great, why are the bugs always trying to get in your house?”
― Jim Gaffigan, Dad is Fat

“It is likely I will die next to a pile of things I was meaning to read.”
― Lemony Snicket