LIZA

“The Top Ten Reasons Why Virgin Val Sucks
10. She called me a one-hit-wonder.
9. She doesn’t appreciate the endearing nickname I gave her.
8. She makes me write stupid blogs about her at four in the morning.
7. She’s encouraging people not to have sex.
6. She blew me off when I asked her out.
5. She has a crush on a douche bag.
4. She won’t answer any of my calls.
3. She’s such a tease with her look-but-don’t-touch policy.
2. I played a whole effing concert just for her and she didn’t come even though she told me she would. (You’re such a liar!)
And the #1 reason why Virgin Val sucks?
I still want her anyway.”
― Kelly Oram, V is for Virgin

“Listen.” The voice is extremely loud, and I am forced to hold the telephone away from my ear.
“I don’t know who you are, or why you have Jack’s phone, but he is my boyfriend, and—”
Boyfriend? What is a boyfriend? Perhaps it is something like a beau.
“Is he engaged to you, then?” I hope not.
“What? No. Of course not.”
“Oh, what a relief. He is my true love, and you do not sound very nice.”
“What? Listen, you . . .”
And then, strangely enough, she calls me a female dog.”
― Alex Flinn, A Kiss in Time

“Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.”
― Arnold Lobel

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.”
― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read with My Eyes Shut!