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Jan 17, 2026 08:27PM

 
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Stephanie Foo
“Trauma isn’t just the sadness that comes from being beaten, or neglected, or insulted. That’s just one layer of it. Trauma also is mourning the childhood you could have had. The childhood other kids around you had.”
Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

Stephanie Foo
“But the sadness of a lost childhood feels like yearning, impossible desire. It feels like a hollow, insatiable hunger.”
Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

Stephanie Foo
“It’s okay to have some things you never get over.”
Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know

Stephanie Foo
“It takes an intellectual and physical effort to shove aside the comfortably worn neural pathways and go in a different direction.”
Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

Stephanie Foo
“these negative emotions are not simply something to endure and erase. They are purposeful. Beneficial. They tell us what we need. Anger inspires action. Sadness is necessary to process grief. Fear helps keep us safe. Completely eradicating these emotions is not just impossible—it’s unhealthy. These negative emotions only become toxic when they block out all the other emotions. When we feel so much sadness that we can’t let any joy in. When we feel so much anger that we cannot soften around others. True mental health looks like a balance of these good and bad feelings. As Lori Gottlieb says in her book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, “Many people come to therapy seeking closure. Help me not to feel. What they eventually discover is that you can’t mute one emotion without muting the others. You want to mute the pain? You’ll also mute the joy.”
Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

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