Blake Plummer

“Scott has continued acting but now stars exclusively in gay pornography. Fortuitously he has grown into the spitting image of Richard Gere, so, has made a lucrative series of films that pay sodomichal homage to Gere's back catalogue. Gays of Heaven, Pretty Man, and An Orifice and a Gentlehand.”
― Alan Partridge, I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read.”
― James Baldwin

“To hold her, to keep her -- just as she was -- with her cruelty, with her vulgarity, with her blinding blue eyes, with her miserable poetry, with her fat feet, with her impure, dry, sordid, infantile soul. All of a sudden he thought: If people are reunited in Heaven (I don’t believe it, but suppose), then how shall I stop it from creeping upon me, that shriveled, helpless, lame thing, her soul? But this is the earth, and I am, curiously enough, alive, and there is something in me and in life ---”
― Vladimir Nabokov, Pnin

“*while discarding his Toblerone stash*
I found it hidden in an air vent behind a wardrobe. It was just sat there looking at me, like some sort of confectionary Anne Frank”
― Alan Partridge, I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan