Aphelion

“With a flourish she conjures the image of a rose into her hand. As you watch the flower becomes wrapped in gold then encrusted with a myriad of gems. "This is how most people fall in love," She explains. "They find someone to lust for, often someone who presents a challenge, then they build that one up in their mind into an effigy of perfection. Then, often when they have bound themselves to the object of their affections, they discover their folly.”
― Anonymous

“Friendship can be hard.
And for many of us, we feel like we have had a harder time than typical people. We feel like everyone else has a playbook for friendship, that they seem to know what to do when we feel unsure what to do, to say, or even sometimes to feel.
If only it was that straightforward. In fact, if there was a yellow brick road that led to abundant friends, we would have taken
that road accompanied by Toto and our own pair of ruby slippers.”
― Caroline Maguire, Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults: A Guide for the Anxious, Uniquely Wired, and Easily Distracted

“There are many upsides to guilt, one of which is that the anticipation of guilt can guide your behavior in such a way that it makes you more trustworthy and successful. It can lead to self-control in situations where you’d rather give up (like when you want to hit snooze and call in sick). It can cause you to uphold the goals of your employer and look out for their best interests (which can lead to promotions, recognition, and raises). It can cause you to give to those in need (a habit that leads to happiness and fulfillment). So while it can appear that guilt is a negative emotion that always steals our joy, the anticipation of guilt if we don’t live up to expectations can actually lead us to make choices that meet others’ expectations. And those choices often come with positive rewards and success. This is the upside of guilt: it can be a guide that makes you better. For example:

•GUILT PROMPTS YOU TO DO THE RIGHT THING. Over time, doing the right thing builds positive relationships, helps you reach important goals, and makes you trustworthy.

•GUILT HELPS YOU STAY TRUE TO YOUR VALUES. Staying true to your values brings peace. It also means being authentic, a necessary skill for resilience.

•GUILT IS AN INVITATION TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. It’s healthy to own up to it when you are wrong. Guilt invites you to take responsibility for your actions.

•GUILT CAN TRIGGER POSITIVE CHANGE. If you want to align your actions with your values and be at peace, then guilt, or the anticipation of it, can motivate you to take action to change.

•GUILT CONTROLS GREED. Guilt can trigger fairness when excesses tip out of balance.”
― Valorie Burton, Let Go of the Guilt

“I WAS ASKED recently, “Who is your best friend?” I don’t know. I don’t use language like that anymore. It doesn’t fit. I have friends that hold the keys to different doors of my personality. Some open my heart. Some my laughter. Some my mischief. Some my sin. Some my civic urgency. Some my history. Some my rawest confusion and vulnerability. Some friends, who may not be “the closest” to me, have the most important key for me in a moment of my life. Some, who may be as close as my own skin, may not have what I need today. It’s okay if our spouses or partners don’t have every key. How could they? It isn’t a failure if they don’t open every single door of who you are. The million-room-mansion of identity cannot overlap perfectly with anyone.
But I will say, my closest friends have a key ring on their hip with lots of keys, jingling.”
― Jedidiah Jenkins, Like Streams to the Ocean: Notes on Ego, Love, and the Things That Make Us Who We Are