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Girl, Interrupted
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Fyodor Dostoevsky
“I hated my face, for example, found it odious, and even suspected that there was some mean expression in it, and therefore every time I came to work I made a painful effort to carry myself as independently as possible, and to express as much nobility as possible with my face. "let it not be a beautiful face," I thought, "but, to make up for that, let it be a noble, an expressive, and, above all, an extremely intelligent one." Yet I knew, with certainty and suffering, that i would never be able to express all those perfections with the face I had. The most terrible thing was that I found it positively stupid. And I would have been quite satisfied with intelligence. Let's even say I would even have agreed to a mean expression, provided only that at the same time my face be found terribly intelligent.”
Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground

Fyodor Dostoevsky
“It was from feeling oneself that one had reached the last barrier, that it was horrible, but that it could not be otherwise; that there was no escape for you; that you never could become a different man; that even if time and faith were still left you to change into something different you would most likely not wish to change; or if you did wish to, even then you would do nothing; because perhaps in reality there was nothing for you to change into.”
Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground

Fyodor Dostoevsky
“It is clear to me now that, owing to my unbounded vanity and to the high standard I set for myself, I often looked at myself with furious discontent, which verged on loathing, and so I inwardly attributed the same feeling to everyone.”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground

Fyodor Dostoevsky
“But what can a decent man speak of with most pleasure? Answer: Of himself. Well, so I will talk about myself.”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from the Underground

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