Liz A.

“Let me get this straight. Your table ran away because you polished it with Windex?”
― Rick Riordan, The Demigod Files

“Jason muttered "And I saw something...Really terrible."
"That was Hera," Thalia grumbled, "Her Majesty, the Loose Cannon."
"That's it, Thalia Grace," Said the goddess. "I will turn you into and aardvark, so help me-"
"Stop it, you two," Piper said. Amazingly, they both shut up.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero

“He turned to Frank who was trying to pull his fingers out of the Chinese handcuffs…
“Okay,” Frank relented. “Sure.” He frowned at his fingers, trying to pull them out of the trap. “Uh, how do you—”
Leo chuckled. “Man, you’ve never seen those before? There’s a simple trick to getting out.”
Frank tugged again with no luck. Even Hazel was trying not to laugh.
Frank grimaced with concentration. Suddenly, he disappeared. On the deck where he’d been standing, a green iguana crouched next to an empty set of Chinese handcuffs.
“Well done, Frank Zhang,” Leo said dryly, doing his impression of Chiron the centaur. “That is exactly how people beat Chinese handcuffs. They turn into iguanas.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“There are chords in the hearts of the most reckless which cannot be touched without emotion, even by the utterly lost, to whom life and death are equally jests, there are matters of which no jest can be made.”
― Edgar Allan Poe, The Masque of the Red Death