Kiersten Isaacks

“For those of you with partners who aren’t yet experienced in the art of communicating, you’ll want to take preventative measures. Before saying “I think you don’t care about me and I feel sad about that,” consider prefacing your statement with: “I’m going to share my perspective and experience. I’m not saying you have to agree with my reasons for it—I’ll be open to discussing those. However, I do firmly ask that you respect my feelings—don’t tell me how I should or shouldn’t feel.” The Gottman Institute refers to this method as a soft startup. Essentially, it’s a technique that prepares your partner for what you’re about to say instead of laying it on them with no warning. A soft startup can remove the shock factor and make it easier for your partner to hear what”
― Nic Saluppo, Communicate Your Feelings (without starting a fight): What to Say and What Not to Say to Your Partner

“Understanding that I was basing my emotional well-being upon other people treating me just how I wanted—after all, they made me feel things—brought me to a fork in the road. Would I continue basing my quality of life on something I had no control over, i.e., what other people said and did, or would I take ownership of the feelings I felt in my own body and learn to handle them in a healthy way?”
― Nic Saluppo, Communicate Your Feelings (without starting a fight): What to Say and What Not to Say to Your Partner

“saying something like, “Such and such happened and it made me so mad . . .” He’d interject with, “Now, watch what you’re saying. You’re giving away your power when you say something made you feel.”
― Nic Saluppo, Communicate Your Feelings (without starting a fight): What to Say and What Not to Say to Your Partner

“If you are sinking, it is because you are looking in the wrong direction.”
― Max Lucado, Anxious for Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World