Sarah Spellious

“You don't stop loving someone just because you hate them.”
― Hanif Kureishi, Intimacy

“Her. Her. Her. Future breezes implore
me to stay.
But I'm no future. I'm no past.
Only ever contemporary of this path.
I'll sacrifice everything
for all her seasons give from losing.
She, I sigh
from The Mountain top.
By her now. My only role. And for that freedom,
spread my polar chill, reaching even the warmest times,
a warning upon the back of every life
that would by harming Hailey's play, ever wayward
around this vegetative rush of orbit & twine,
awaken among these cascading cliffs of bellicose ice

me.
And my Vengeance.
At once.
The Justice of my awful loss
set free upon this crowded land. An old terror
violent for the glee of
ends.
But to those who would tend her, harrowed
by such Beauty & Fleeting Presence to do more,
my cool cries will kiss their gentle foreheads
and my tears will kiss their tender cheeks,
and then if the Love of their Kindness, which only
Kindness ever finds, spills my ear, for a while I might
slip down and play amidst her canopies of gold.

Solitude. Hailey's bare feet.
And all her patience now assumes.
Garland of Spring's Sacred Bloom.
By you, ever sixteen, this World's preserved.
By you, this World has everything left to lose.
And I, your sentry of ice, shall allways protect
what your Joy so dangerously resumes.
I'll destroy no World
so long it keeps turning with flurry & gush,
petals & stems bending and lush,
and allways our hushes returning anew.
Everyone betrays the Dream
but who cares for it? O Hailey no,
I could never walk away from you.

-

Haloes! Haleskarth!
Contraband!
I can walk away
from anything.
Everyone loves
the Dream but I kill it.
Bald Eagles soar
over me: —Reveille Rebel!
I jump free this weel.
On fire. Blaze a breeze.
I'll devastate the World.

\\

Samsara! Samarra!
Grand!
I can walk away
from anything.
Everyone loves
the Dream but I kill it.
Atlas Mountain Cedars gush
over me: —Up Boogaloo!
I leap free this spring.
On fire. How my hair curls.
I'll destroy the World.

-

Him. Him. Him. Future winds imploring
me to stay.
But I'm no tomorrow. I'm no yesterday.
Only ever contemporary of this way.
I will sacrifice everything
for all his seasons miss of soaring.
He, I sigh
from The Mountain top.
By him now. My only role. And for that freedom,
spread my polar chill, reaching even the warmest climes,
a warning upon the back of every life
that would by harming Sam's play, ever wayward
around this animal streak of orbit & wind,
awaken among these cataracts of belligerent ice

me.
And my Justice.
At once.
The Vengeance of my awful loss set
free upon this crowded land. An old terror
violent for the delirium of
ends.
But to those who would protect him, frightened
by such Beauty & Savage Presence to do more,
my cool cries will kiss their tender foreheads
and my tears will kiss their gentle cheeks,
and then if the Kindness of their Love, which only
Loving ever binds, spills my ear, for a while I might
slip down and play among his foals so green.

My barrenness. Sam's solitude.
And all his patience now presumes.
Luster of Spring's Sacred Brood.
By you, ever sixteen, this World's reserved.
By you, this World has everything left to lose.
And I, your sentry of ice, shall allways protect
what your Joy so terrifyingly elects.
I'll destroy no World
so long it keeps turning with scurry & blush,
fledgling & charms beading with dews,
and allways our rush returning renewed.
Everyone betrays the Dream
but who cares for it? O Sam no,
I could never walk away from you.”
― Mark Z. Danielewski, Only Revolutions

“Bedlam: an institution with a history so fearsome it gave its name to a synonym for chaos and pandemonium.”
― Jon Ronson, The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry

“It can be difficult to leave a long-term relationship, even when our inner-wisdom tells us it's time to let go. At this point, we can choose let go and endure the intense pain of leaving behind the familiar to make way for a new chapter in our life. Or we can stay and suffer a low-grade pain that slowly eats away at our heart and soul, like an emotional cancer. Until we wake up, one day and realize, we are buried so deep in the dysfunction of the relationship that we scarcely remember who we were and what we wanted and needed to be.”
― Jaeda DeWalt