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“The pain is stronger than ever. I've seen bits of lost Paradises and I know I'll be hopelessly trying to return even if it hurts. The deeper I swing into the regions of nothingness the further I'm thrown back into myself, each time more and more frightening depths below me, until my very being becomes dizzy. There are brief glimpses of clear sky, like falling out of a tree, so I have some idea where I'm going, but there is still too much clarity and straight order of things, I am getting always the same number somehow. So I vomit out broken bits of words and syntaxes of the countries I've passed through, broken limbs, slaughtered houses, geographies. My heart is poisoned, my brain left in shreds of horror and sadness. I've never let you down, world, but you did lousy things to me.
(from "As I was moving ahead occasionally I saw brief glimpses of beauty", 2000)”
―
(from "As I was moving ahead occasionally I saw brief glimpses of beauty", 2000)”
―
“Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final”
―
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final”
―
“My ambition is handicapped by laziness”
― Factotum
― Factotum
“All the diversity, all the charm, and all the beauty of life are made up of light and shade.”
― Anna Karenina
― Anna Karenina
“I was drawn to all the wrong things: I liked to drink, I was lazy, I didn't have a god, politics, ideas, ideals. I was settled into nothingness; a kind of non-being, and I accepted it. I didn't make for an interesting person. I didn't want to be interesting, it was too hard. What I really wanted was only a soft, hazy space to live in, and to be left alone.”
―
―
Ryam’s 2025 Year in Books
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Crime, History, Horror, Mystery, Philosophy, Poetry, Psychology, Religion, Science, Self help, Suspense, Thriller, and Young-adult
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