Nasha Bernier

“What happened when you woke up?"
"I was having a dream. I don’t know what it was, but when I woke up, I had this awful realization that I was awake. It hit me like a brick in the groin."
"Like a brick in the groin, I see."
"I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare."
"And what is that nightmare, Craig?"
"Life."
"Life is a nightmare."
"Yes.”
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

“I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't.”
― Susanna Kaysen

“Paranoia (n)
 A condition where a person always doubts others and themselves.
 A condition where all compliments seem too fake to be a reality.
 A condition where a person is unable to trust someone even after knowing them for years.
 A condition where a person thinks self-sabotage is healthy.
 A condition where a person just can’t turn off the grinding noises in their brain.
 A condition where a person feels that someone is only nice to them because they need something in return.
 A condition where a person can no longer differentiate between delusions and reality.  A condition where a person’s own mind is their biggest enemy.
 A condition where a person is ridden with irrational fears and ‘yellow wallpaper’ feels.
 A condition where a person feels that when people are not talking to them they are either talking about them or against them. Always.”
― Sijdah Hussain, Red Sugar, No More

“Do you know that feeling? When everything you do seems like a struggle. Where you dont wanna leave the house because you know everyone is judging you. Where you cant even ask for directions in fear that they critise you. Where everyone always seems to be picking out your flaws. That feeling where you feel so damn sick for no reason.
Do you know that feeling where you look in the mirror and completly hate what you see. When you grab handfuls and handfuls of fat and just want to cut it all off. That feeling when you see other beautiful girls and just wish you looked like them. When you compare yourself to everyone you meet. When you realise why no one ever showed intrest in you. That feeling where you become so self conscious you dont even turn up at school. That feeling when you feel so disappointed in who you are and everything you have become. That feeling when every bite makes you wanna be sick. When hunger is more satifying that food. The feeling of failure when you eat a meal.
Do you know that feeling when you cant run as far as your class. Fear knowing that everyone thinks of you as the"Unfit FAT BITCH" That feeling when you just wanna let it all out but you dont wanna look weak. The fear you have in class when you dont understand something but your too afraid to ask for help. The feeling of being to ashamed to stand up for yourself.
Do you know the feeling when your deepest fear becomes a reality. Fear that you will NEVER be good enough. When you feel as if you deserve all the pain you give yourself. When you finally understand why everyone hates you. FINALLY realising the harsh truth. Understanding that every cut, every burn, every bruise you have even given yourself, you deserved. In fact you deserved worse. That feeling when you believe you deserve constant and brutal pain.
Do you know what it feels like to just want to give up. When you just want all the pain to end but you want it to continue? Or am i just insane”
― Anonymous.