Simon Atkinson

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“At the court hearing, Howard Weitzman told the judge that if they were gonna ban ‘Suicide Solution’ and hold me responsible for some poor kid shooting himself, then they’d have to ban Shakespeare, ’cos Romeo and Juliet’s about suicide, too.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, I Am Ozzy

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“It’s sad, y’know, what money does to people.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, I Am Ozzy

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“Y’know, swearing is just part of who we are – we’re forever effing and blinding.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, I Am Ozzy

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“They teach you how to handle life in England, but they don’t teach you a thing about death. There’s no book telling you what to do when your mum or dad dies.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, I Am Ozzy

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“I grew up having to piss in a bucket ’cos there was no indoor shitter, and now I have these computerised Japanese super-loo things that have heated seats and wash and blow-dry your arse at the touch of a button. Give it a couple of years and I’ll have a bog with a robot arm that pulls out my turds, so I don’t have to strain.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, I Am Ozzy

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