Simon Atkinson

“‘Ozzy, why do you drink so much? What’s the point?’
The right answer to that question was: because I’m an alcoholic; because I have an addictive personality; because whatever I do, I do it addictively. But I didn’t know any of that back then.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, I Am Ozzy

“My wife can sniff out a lie from six thousand miles away. And I’m the world’s worst liar, anyway.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, I Am Ozzy

“I grew up having to piss in a bucket ’cos there was no indoor shitter, and now I have these computerised Japanese super-loo things that have heated seats and wash and blow-dry your arse at the touch of a button. Give it a couple of years and I’ll have a bog with a robot arm that pulls out my turds, so I don’t have to strain.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, I Am Ozzy

“When you’re in love, it’s not just about the messing around in the sack, it’s about how empty you feel when they’re gone.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, I Am Ozzy