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David Sedaris
“On a recent flight from Tokyo to Beijing, at around the time that my lunch tray was taken away, I remembered that I needed to learn Mandarin. “Goddamnit,” I whispered. “I knew I forgot something.”
― David Sedaris, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

Daniel Keyes
“So even if I’m getting intelligent and learning a lot of new things, he thinks I’m still a boy about women. It’s confusing, but I’m going to find out all about my life.”
― Daniel Keyes, Flowers for Algernon

David Sedaris
“Hugh’s old drawing teacher used to have one, and though it had been ten years since he’d taken the woman’s class, I could suddenly recall him talking about it. “If I had a skeleton like Minerva’s . . . ,” he used to say. I don’t remember the rest of the sentence, as I’d always been sidetracked by the teacher’s name, Minerva. Sounds like a witch.”
― David Sedaris, When You Are Engulfed in Flames

David Sedaris
“I’m often misunderstood at my supermarket in Sussex, not because of my accent but because I tend to deviate from the script. Cashier: Hello, how are you this evening? Me: Has your house ever been burgled? Cashier: What? Me: Your house—has anyone ever broken into it and stolen things? With me, people aren’t thinking What did you say? so much as Why are you saying that?”
― David Sedaris, Calypso

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