Brandon Hein

“Then one day, this kid named Darren Walsh touched the Cheese with his finger, and that's what started this thing called the Cheese Touch. It's basically like the Cooties. If you get the Cheese Touch, you're stuck with it until you pass it on to someone else. The only way to protect yourself from the Cheese Touch is to cross your fingers.”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“First of all, let me get this straight: This is a JOURNAL, not a diary. I know what it says on the cover, but when Mom went out to buy this thing I SPECIFICALLY told her to get one that didn't say 'diary' on it.”
― Jeff Kinney

“that if you don't read nobody does”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons." - Greg Heffley,”
― Jeff Kinney, Diary of a Wimpy Kid