Treasure Curry

“Maybe I don't want my secrets all over your group grapevine.
Why not?
You don't get why I want privacy? (There were zero expressions of outrage on the faces staring back at me.)
You might want to look at why you're so invested in privacy.
Isn't it standard practice?
It might be, but keeping secrets for other people is more toxic than other people knowing your business. Holding on to secrets is a way to hold shame that doesn't belong to you.”
― Christie Tate, Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life

“My parents firmly believed that I could make up my mind to be happy. I understand now that they were offering me the tools they relied on: willpower, optimism, and self-reliance. But those tools kept slipping out of my grasp, so I reached for the more reliable bingeing and purging to tamp down the emotions trying to surface. My parents and I wanted the same thing: for me to be normal. I longed for a "normal me" more than they did, but none of us understood that I wasn't "moping" and that the attempts to stuff my feeling might come at a high cost. I also heard an implied request that I bury Hawaii and all its terrifying images. Beneath my parents' request thrummed a subtext: Don't think about it, or you'll get upset. Don't get upset, or you'll fall behind on the important work of being a normal teenage girl. Don't talk about it, or you'll upset yourself. Don't talk about it, or you'll upset me. I wanted to be a dutiful daughter, so I buried it the best I could.”
― Christie Tate, Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life