Andrea

“I showed it to my mother, and after she finished reading, I burst out, “I feel so pure and so clean—I feel all emptied out,” just those words, without any embarrassment at all, and she said eagerly, “Oh no, I would think you would feel all filled up,” and I laughed, and didn’t volunteer information of that kind again, because after all it wasn’t necessary to tell your mother everything. A kind of stinginess, it seems to me now. “Is it ADD?” she asks me. “Your father gave you all ADD, you know.” Sensing that this is not entirely fair, she adds graciously, “And then I gave you ADD as well.” “Maybe,” I say, laughing again. It was true I always had trouble listening and remembering, trouble hearing people when they explained simple facts to me. When I read, my head seemed to go diagonal, and I swore I saw things in the sentences—not what I was supposed to see. When I read the words “moonlit swim,” I saw the moonlight slicked all over the bare skin. The word “sunshine” had a washed look, with the sweep of a rag in the middle of it. The word “violinist” was a fig cut in half. “String quartet” was a cat’s cradle held between two hands. “Penniless”
― Patricia Lockwood, Priestdaddy: A Memoir