Diane

“We can make our partners into the source of our hope, love, strength, ability to feel or regulate our own emotions, as well as the source of our meaning and purpose in life. Our partners can be the inspiration for these things, as well as the objects or focus of our love, but they should not be the source of it. You are the source of your happiness, love, courage, emotional regulation and purpose, and the sooner that you can release your partner from being the source of these experiences the better for everyone involved”
― Jessica Fern, Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

“Being our own safe haven and secure base requires that we first have the capacity to be with our self. To sit, to listen, to be available to whatever arises within us.”
― Jessica Fern, Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

“Do you think yourself a string too short to save? Do you think that you are lank and straight, a linear bit with no connection fore or aft? Fear not your insignificance. Nature has a drawer for you. Yes, nature garners all the string too short to save, and mice visit that drawer. Here’s nesting material! Yes, you will be interwoven, be it now or later.”
― Sena Jeter Naslund, Ahab's Wife, or The Star-Gazer

“Research shows that it takes babies up to seven months for their attachment to their caregivers to become securely established, and for adults, a securely attached romantic relationship takes approximately two years to really solidify.60”
― Jessica Fern, Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy