Mary

“A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.”
― Dave Barry

“I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.”
― Dave Barry, Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, But Some Actual Journalism!

“If, when you talk to people, they keep backing away from you, it's because you're TOO CLOSE, alright? SO DON'T KEEP ADVANCING ON THEM LIKE A HUMAN GLACIER.”
― Dave Barry

“Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. ”
― Dave Barry