Marty McSkywalker

“It's interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up.”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [...] I'd seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was just because he had a camera crew with him.”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?”
― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington

“[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.”
― Karl Pilkington