ella solgaard

“You make everything else quiet. Everything else disappears when I look at you.”
― MediaWhore, Tired Tired Sea

“Um, and this is….Ilya. Rozanov. You probably know that.”
“Hi,” Ilya said.
“And he’s been…visiting. He’s…we’re, um…”
What were they, exactly? It occurred to Shane that he and Ilya hadn’t even figured out what label they were comfortable with.
“Lovers,” Ilya offered.
Fuck, way to choose the grossest possible word, Ilya.
Well, there was no going back from that word. Shane could only wait for the aftermath.
“But…you hate him,” Mom said.
“No, I…don’t. I mean. Sometimes I do, kinda. But mostly I..love him. Actually.”
“You..what?”
― Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry

“But,” Shane said. He had to say this next part. It had been eating away at him for too long. “You want to get married, right? To a woman, I mean. You’re not...like me. You like women. And I’m sure...Svetlana is gorgeous and fun and...all that stuff. Right?”
“Yes,” Ilya said. “I do. She is. But.”
“But?”
Ilya shrugged, and he looked like he was possibly blushing. “I have this problem,” he mumbled.
Shane waited.
“I like women. I always was thinking that to get married would be nice. Kids. All of that. Someday. But...this problem will not go away.”
Shane bit his lip. “Tell me about this problem.”
“Is so annoying.” Ilya sighed, and Shane could see him fighting a grin. “Always I am with beautiful women. Wonderful women. Everywhere.”
“Sounds rough.”
“Yes. Listen. These women, they are so sexy and fun, but is no matter. I cannot stop thinking about this short fucking hockey player with these stupid freckles and a weak backhand.”
“A weak backhand?” Shane couldn’t stop smiling.
“Yes. And he is just so boring and he drives a terrible car and...that is my problem. All of these beautiful women and I am always wishing they were him.”
Ilya bent to take his third shot. “Is terrible problem.”

Fuck. Shane was going start crying right here in his games room. He swallowed and steadied himself. “Do you want the problem to go away?”

“No,” Ilya said seriously, looking Shane dead in the eye. “I do not want the problem to ever go away.”
― Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry

“I have ruined you," Rozanov said when
they broke apart. "No one else will do.”
― Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry