Aaravos Startouch

“Weeee woooo weeee woooo,” Frank said. “I’m an alarm clock, weeee woooo weeee woooo.” I blinked awake in the room I’d taken, then rubbed at my bleary eyes. “What…what the hell are you doing?” “Waking you up?” Frank said. “It’s been four hours on the dot.” “Oh,” I said. “Thanks.”
― Kyle Kirrin, Shadeslinger

“Hold on,” I said. “Frank, name three things you like. And no, Darling doesn’t count.” “Easy,” Frank said. “Murder—” “Too dark. It’s abundantly clear that you like inflicting suffering on things, but we’re going for lighthearted interests at the moment, so try again.” “Uh, mayhem.” “Still too dark.” He paused for a very, very long moment. “Mmm… macarons.” “Are you just naming things that start with m?” “No.” “I think you are.” “Am not.” “Are too.” “Is this really the time for this argument?” Lars said. “I mean, macarons?” I said. “Seriously? That’s a weird flex.” “What is a flex?” Lars said. “How is that weird?” Frank said. “That’s a bougie cookie, man. I’m rich as hell and I still feel guilty buying macarons. Those things are expensive.” “I don’t think it’s about the money. I think deep down in your heart of hearts, you know that you don’t deserve macarons.” “Wow,” I said. “They’re not even that good.” “Macarons are the Cadillac of cookies and if you ever imply otherwise again I will cut that uncultured palate right out of your mouth and force you to eat it.” “Wow,” Lars said. “That’s a really strong opinion.” “Those are the only opinions I have,” Frank said. “Yeah, apparently the guy who’s all about mystery meat also likes macarons,” I said. “Go figure.” “Oh yeah,” Frank said. “I do love me some mysterious meats. I just really like the suspense of wondering what dead animal I’m about to bite into, you know?” “I really think we should go,” Lars said. “Yeah, you’re right. Frank, lemme know when you come up with a third thing.”
― Kyle Kirrin, Black Sand Baron

“Frank hesitated. “Hey. Now that you’ve swallowed a good bit of that, I do feel obligated to point out that I was inside it.” I raised the glass up to eye level, swirled it around, and took another mouthful. I was still thinking about the ghost dog from earlier. “What?” “I mean, I was shaft-deep in that drink like thirty seconds ago. You put me there, remember?” I spat my mouthful onto the floor. “Now that’s just uncalled for. If anything, I deepened those flavors.”
― Kyle Kirrin, Gilded Ghost

“I stalked toward him, grinning. “Say something awesome, quick,” Frank said. “Preferably about me.” I dropped my pistols into my inventory, accessed the streamer menu and started recording. Then I slipped Frank out of his loop, activated Repel, and held him out in front of me. “This is what you’re after, right?” “What are you doing?” Frank said. “I’m introducing you,” I said. “Tyrann, meet Frank, aka the Axe of Unbridled Knowledge.” I cocked back and slapped Tyrann across the face with Frank as hard as I could. “Yes!” Frank said. The attack didn’t do any damage, but it launched Tyrann backward toward the boat and sent him skimming over the waves like a stone across a pond. “Yes yes yes!” Frank said at the top of his nonexistent lungs, and it felt like he was shadowboxing at my side. “You just got Franked, fool!” Tyrann bounced off a cresting wave and belly-flopped into the ocean.”
― Kyle Kirrin, Black Sand Baron