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thoughts that he judged as self-pitying even as he had them, absurd thoughts about who really cared about him, who gave a damn, why was he doing what he was doing, what difference did it make, what was there to look forward to, why, inthoughts that he judged as self-pitying even as he had them, absurd thoughts about who really cared about him, who gave a damn, why was he doing what he was doing, what difference did it make, what was there to look forward to, why, in short, was he alive?...more