Rachel

“What're you still doing up? You know all good little ninjas should be in bed, visions of homicidal sugarplums dancing in their heads.”
― Rob Thurman, Nightlife

“Pick up your clothes. I am not your maid. How do I know this? A maid cannot kill you with a tube sock. I can. ”
― Rob Thurman

“*Some dudes like to say that men have the instinct to spread their seed, while women are supposed to protect their reproductive organs from everything but the best sperm for the strongest potential offspring. By that logic every woman in the world should be saving herself for Dwayne "The Rock' Johnson and never let any of you shitheads touch her. Seriously, you guys should stop using that argument.”
― Anna Kendrick, Scrappy Little Nobody

“Pooh hater,' I muttered under my breath.
'Winnie-the-Pooh was not a koala--why am I even arguing about this with you?”
― Rob Thurman, Blackout