Nai

“Whenever I was asked what I wanted my first impulse was to answer "Nothing." The thought went through my mind that it didn't make any difference, that nothing was going to make me happy.”
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human

“I thought, “I want to die. I want to die more than ever before. There’s no chance now of a recovery. No matter what sort of thing I do, no matter what I do, it’s sure to be a failure, just a final coating applied to my shame. That dream of going on bicycles to see a waterfall framed in summer leaves—it was not for the likes of me. All that can happen now is that one foul, humiliating sin will be piled on another, and my sufferings will become only the more acute. I want to die. I must die. Living itself is the source of sin.”
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human

“As for why... I didn't want to admit that I was female. It wasn't that I wanted to be a boy, more like I hated the whole idea of belonging to a gender... That somehow before I was ''me'' I was a ''woman'', like I was scared of being overly defined by those expectations, I guess...”
― Kabi Nagata, My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness

“JESUS: Judas! … Judas, don’t you know what would happen the very instant you got down on your knees?
JUDAS: Why on my knees? They shoulda buried me standing up—’cuz I been on my knees my whole life! You left me.

JUDAS is slowly reverting to his frozen catatonic state.

JESUS: I’m right here.
JUDAS: I would have never believed that you could have left me.
JESUS: I never left you.
JUDAS: That you didn’t love me.
JESUS: I do love you.
JUDAS: Why … didn’t you make me good enough … so that you could’ve loved me?
JESUS: … Please take my hands, Judas. Please.
JUDAS: Where are they?
JESUS: Right here.
JUDAS: I can’t see them.
JESUS: They’re right here.
JUDAS: Where are you going?!
JESUS: I’m right here.
JUDAS: Don’t leave me!
JESUS: I’m here.
JUDAS: I can’t hurt …
JESUS: I love you, Judas.
JUDAS: I can’t …
JESUS: Please stay.
JUDAS: I can’t hurt …
JESUS: Please love me, Judas.
JUDAS: I can’t.

JUDAS is frozen again.”
― Stephen Adly Guirgis, The Last Days of Judas Iscariot