Nai

“Whenever I was asked what I wanted my first impulse was to answer "Nothing." The thought went through my mind that it didn't make any difference, that nothing was going to make me happy.”
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human

“Mine has been a life of much shame. I can't even guess myself what it must be to live the life of a human being.”
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human

“I was excessively afraid of being defined as a woman before I was seen as myself.”
― Nagata Kabi, My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness

“JESUS: Judas! … Judas, don’t you know what would happen the very instant you got down on your knees?
JUDAS: Why on my knees? They shoulda buried me standing up—’cuz I been on my knees my whole life! You left me.

JUDAS is slowly reverting to his frozen catatonic state.

JESUS: I’m right here.
JUDAS: I would have never believed that you could have left me.
JESUS: I never left you.
JUDAS: That you didn’t love me.
JESUS: I do love you.
JUDAS: Why … didn’t you make me good enough … so that you could’ve loved me?
JESUS: … Please take my hands, Judas. Please.
JUDAS: Where are they?
JESUS: Right here.
JUDAS: I can’t see them.
JESUS: They’re right here.
JUDAS: Where are you going?!
JESUS: I’m right here.
JUDAS: Don’t leave me!
JESUS: I’m here.
JUDAS: I can’t hurt …
JESUS: I love you, Judas.
JUDAS: I can’t …
JESUS: Please stay.
JUDAS: I can’t hurt …
JESUS: Please love me, Judas.
JUDAS: I can’t.

JUDAS is frozen again.”
― Stephen Adly Guirgis, The Last Days of Judas Iscariot