“I didn't get to grow up and pull away from her and bitch about her with my friends and confront her about the things I'd wished she'd done differently and then get older and understand that she had done the best she could and realize that what she had done was pretty damn good and take her fully back into my arms again. Her death had obliterated that. It had obliterated me. It had cut me short at the very heigh of my youthful arrogance. It had forced me to instantly grow up and forgive her every motherly fault at the same time that it kept me forever a child, my life both ended and begun in that premature place where we'd left off. She was my mother, but I was motherless. I was trapped by her, but utterly alone. She would always be the empty bowl that no one could full. I'd have to fill it myself again and again and again.”
― Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail
― Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail
“i hardened under the last loss. it took something human out of me. i used to be so deeply emotional i’d crumble on demand. but now the water has made its exit. of course i care about the ones around me. i’m just struggling to show it. a wall is getting in the way. i used to dream of being so strong nothing could shake me. now. i am. so strong. that nothing shakes me. and all i dream is to soften.”
― The Sun and Her Flowers
― The Sun and Her Flowers
“The worst type of crying wasn't the kind everyone could see--the wailing on street corners, the tearing at clothes. No, the worst kind happened when your soul wept and no matter what you did, there was no way to comfort it. A section withered and became a scar on the part of your soul that survived. For people like me and Echo, our souls contained more scar tissue than life.”
― Pushing the Limits
― Pushing the Limits
“تلقيت خطاب من محمود يخبرني فيه ان خطبتك قد أعلنت ،و بالأمس كتبت لك خطاب مجنون ثم مزقته .. أتصدقين أنني مازلت أحبك ، و اليوم أشعر أنني في حالة أفضل تمكنني من التفكير السليم و لذلك أكتب إليك لأهنئك؛ فأنا سعيد من أجلك يا عزيزتي .. سعيد لأنك أستطعت أخيراً أن تدفعي الباب و أن تنطلقي و لابد أنك تمضين الآن في الطريق المفتوح و اللمعة في عينيك و الإشراقة في وجهك .. لا تتألمي من أجلي و لا تلومي نفسك فأنت لم تشجعيني ، و لكن ماذا أفعل؟ .. ماذا أفعل في الفكرة المجنونة التي سيطرت علي ، فكرة أنك لي و أنا لك مهما طال الزمن .
إن الخطأ الوحيد الذي ارتكبتيه هو أنك جعلتيني أراك ، و أنك جميلة، و أنك رقيقة و أنك أنت.”
―
إن الخطأ الوحيد الذي ارتكبتيه هو أنك جعلتيني أراك ، و أنك جميلة، و أنك رقيقة و أنك أنت.”
―
Alaa’s 2024 Year in Books
Take a look at Alaa’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
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