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David Joseph

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David is Currently Reading

David Joseph is currently reading

The Silent House

by H.M. Lynn

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“The moral of the story is: I chose a half-measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again.” - Mike Ehrmantraut, Breaking Bad.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Eye of the Bedlam Bride

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“We’re busy!” I called back. “We’ll be out in a minute!” Then, to Donut I said, “Can you say something to calm him down?” “Carl is pooping! He’s almost done!” The crocodilian’s voice went up an octave. “In the hallway? Sir, this is not a bathroom! This is the skill guild hallway!”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

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“So, you’ve had a hard day at the office and suffered a catastrophic crippling blow that has left you tiptoeing on the line between life and death? Just another average Tuesday in Newfoundland. Crack the fridge and pull out a refreshing, medical-grade Zima—The #1 Bone Healing Juice on the Market! Guaranteed to make your Insides feel like Glimflam! Reward: The delicious, refreshing, lightly carbonated taste of Zima is its own reward, amiright?”
― James A. Hunter, Discount Dan

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“Some things shouldn’t ever be purchased used. Like underwear and mattresses and jigsaw puzzles.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Butcher's Masquerade

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“Do you know who Cousin Oliver is, Carl?” Donut demanded, watching the display. “Was he that one cat with the really weird eye?” “No, Carl. That was my sister-cousin, Ginger Snap, and we don’t talk about her. Cousin Oliver was from The Brady Bunch. This thing is like that. Cousin Oliver. Scrappy Doo. Guppy on iCarly. April on Gilmore Girls.” She spat out that last one. “All late series additions. All attempts to add something new and cute and exciting to a perfectly good cast that ended up making everything worse.”
― Matt Dinniman, This Inevitable Ruin

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