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As Meat Loves Salt

by Maria McCann

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Rick macleod said:

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

" Check in at 50% mark, Jun 26 (2024), wanted to jot down some of my thoughts on this because I have a lot.

(very very unfinished draft for my eyes only if you're reading this go away)

I was interested in reading As Meat Loves Salt because of how much pe Check in at 50% mark, Jun 26 (2024), wanted to jot down some of my thoughts on this because I have a lot.

(very very unfinished draft for my eyes only if you're reading this go away)

I was interested in reading As Meat Loves Salt because of how much people seemed to like the novel despite how abhorrent they described the actions of the main character. I put off reading it however because Jacob Cullen (the MC) was essentially described as a sociopath, who rapes and murders constantly, and I wasn't ever THAT keen on having to read about such disturbing subject matter-basically thought it would be like A Clockwork Orange or something. When you actually start reading it however you very quickly come to realize that the main character is a bit more interesting than that (in my opinion). He's a VERY emotional person and the love he feels is intense so that it's all consuming, he feels intense shame and intense rage very quickly and then goes back to being somewhat aloof. Along with these emotions he does feel empathy, however his relationship with empathy is definitely abnormal. While he gets along with a few people it becomes apparent that he is annoyed very easily by most others, leaving very few in any environment he's in that he actually likes, those he does like, he loves intensely. Note: He does seem to experience auditory and possibly visual(?) hallucinations and I'm interested to see where that goes.

Herein comes the harm he causes others. You eventually realize that the body he and his brother pull out of the river is that of a 16 year old boy he murdered a couple days prior (or maybe a day I can't remember),

Christopher Ferris, I'd say so far, has served as a sort of foil for Jacob and helps clarify some of the book's overall themes. Ferris, partly due to his character and partly due to his personal experience, is very passionate about his hatred towards those who rape and kill and use violence etc. also side note I definitely wouldn't say he's a marxist but what makes this trait of his not cliche and in your face is that he has a prominent interest in politics and will use material analysis to analyze class and social structures, like when he's questioning the way marriage makes a sort of commodity out of the wife. I don't really do it Justice to be honest because I read most of it so far in a state of sleep deprived delirium and it's hard to actually lock onto these concepts like that, but I want to say it's all more 'show' than 'tell' in the story than I make it seem in my description.

Anyway I can feel this will end tragically and there's this feeling of impending doom. So far I'd say the writing is pretty great, this seems like a very well done piece of historical fiction set is 1600's England and I'm surprisingly not bored, though once you're about 1/4th of the way through you realize that this book is LONG long. I read in a review that there are two major rape/sexual assault scenes in this book, one of them I've already read which came maybe 5ish chapters in? and now the other is hanging over me like a sword waiting to drop. What's crazy about this situation is Jacob becomes like a sort of ticking time bomb, while yes he's a rapist and murder, he's shocked and disturbed by the soldiers he meets in the army who brag about the women they've raped in battle and the way they speak of them, the interaction makes him ashamed of his actions and he's pretty much glued to Ferris from then on. The way he views Ferris is kind of reminiscent of how he viewed his fiancee Caro, but his adoration for Ferris and his seemingly pure and devoid of sin character (in his eyes) is paired with intense admiration, and his wanting to be good just like Ferris turns into him wanting to be good just for Ferris. And really it's just for Ferris, because while he has these internal crises about how he's going to hell and wants to be a good person and atone for his sins, he without so much as a second thought will do fucked up things in order to get Ferris to himself. Clearly knowing right from wrong but unable to stop himself until Ferris (who is not dumb) observes this and puts him in his place. Ferris doesn't let him get away with shit the way many love interests do, and it's sort of written so that the reader is never quite sure just how he feels towards Jacob, as sometimes it seems like he's just tolerating him despite some of his actions indicating a genuine affection. While I'd say loving someone is wanting the best for them even if it's not with you, I'm not positive Jacob is wired that way. However, I would say he did love Caro and his brothers and that he's definitely in love with Ferris, or at least feels the closest thing to whatever 'love' is that he is capable of (depending on how someone defines it, no one's love is the same the same way no one's anger is).

There is also the underlying topic of misogyny throughout. Jacob is definitely a misogynist, but usually it's in more of a liberal way i.e believing in these concepts of 'purity' in women and gender norms/constraints rather than being a legitimate woman hater who wishes harm upon them all the time. When Jacob rapes Caro in the earlier chapters it feels both out of nowhere and totally expected at the same time, while it's clear he adores Caro, or at least adores her company and *the image he has of her in his head*, it's clear that he's simultaneously driven by some sort of insecurity that overpowers all else. Edit: This paranoia that people will leave him, that he isn't wanted. This insecurity leads him to violate her and what leads him to commit pretty much all other fucked up acts of violence thus far, yet all these acts end up contributing to his insecurity (Continue yada yada).

Check in at 70% mark, July 30th
I got to this point very soon after writing my 50% review (like maybe even the same day) and have not picked it up since (it's been over a month), not because the book is bad or because I got bored but because I am so terrified of the very likely shit show that is about to go down. I'm afraid for the characters and for myself- so I guess that says something about the book's ability to evoke emotion.

What's interesting and almost tragic is Jacob's struggle between the 'good' (almost 'civilized'?) person Jacob wants to be and the monster he reverts to. I was going to try not to let myself diagnose him but his extreme emotion dysregulation and bouts of rage and tears, constantly shifting self image, intense fear of abandonment, cycles of idealization of people like Ferris and Caro and devaluation of others like Ferris's friends in the army, control and manipulation etc. are all pretty realistic for those with personality disorders like Borderline.

I said I wasn't sure if Ferris even liked Jacob and could only assume he did based on his actions (like taking him to live with him) rather than how he behaved, and was surprised when very soon after it turned out he'd had a thing for him pretty much this whole time. At this point I think it just goes to show how unreliable of a narrator Jacob is, because while Jacob has always been extremely infatuated with Ferris he never actually accepted or even acknowledged any sexual or romantic aspects as even a possibility. Their relationship and I guess courtship(?) of each other is/was pretty cute and again I get the feeling like this is the calm before the storm, the happiest part of the book before Jacob does what he does. Despite everything I can't help but root for Jacob as I've come to care for him, but know he's going to let me, everyone else, and himself down. This is kind of based on the spoiler I read that he sexually assaults in two instances in this book and the first one has already happened, my mind is kind of running rampant at how the second instance could possibly come to fruition. I'm really dreading it. Honestly my rating at the moment is probably four out of five stars and I can see it being five stars depending on the ending, I don't think it will happen but if the ending is extremely ridiculous I could see it go down to three stars as well. ...more "

Nov 11, 2025 02:04PM · see review

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The Shards

by Bret Easton Ellis

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Jun 15, 2024 03:56PM

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Martyr!

by Kaveh Akbar

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Mar 24, 2024 07:52PM

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“And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Mostly Sally

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“I must make two honest confessions to you, my Christian and Jewish brothers. First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season." Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.”
― Martin Luther King Jr., Letter from the Birmingham Jail

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