Shauna Mae

“But there was a thing here that I never saw. I don't think you've ever seen it either. There were Americans came here and they put whiskey in the beer."

"No," I said.

"Oui. My God, yes, that's true. Et aussi une femme qui a vomis sur la table!"

"Comment?"

"C'est vrai. Elle a vomis sur la table. Et après elle a vomis dans ses shoes. And afterward they come back and say they want to come again and have another party the next Saturday, and I say no, my God, no! When they came I locked the door.”
― Ernest Hemingway

“Did I know him? Did I love him? You ask me that? I knew him like you know nobody in the world, and I loved him like you love God.”
― Ernest Hemingway, Winner Take Nothing

“I knew nothing but shadows and I thought them to be real.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

“I’m betting that if there is a God who created the mountains, he or she would rather have me spend my Sunday afternoon breathing in the sweet mountain air than squeezing in between overweight, flatulent parishioners in an uncomfortable church pew. I’m betting that if there is a God, he or she has a sense of humor and will think that teaching my little cousins how to make fart noises during Sunday school is a more worthwhile endeavor than helping them memorize ancient scriptures some bible scholars scarcely understand. I’m wagering that if there is a God, he or she designed sex to feel good, and that I’ll be a better person from regularly performing what most Christians would consider unspeakably perverse lovemaking acts to my wife than by living a chaste life with a bunch of hairy social outcasts in some remote monastery in the Himalayas.”
― Ryan Moehring, The Fried Twinkie Manifesto: and other tales of disaster and damnation