Natasha

“My epiphany has been that none of you deserve me. You can look. You can fantasize. Like I've had to. Try to bring home a woman, and I'll make farting noises while wearing a dolphin costume and acting like I'm humping each of you. See how long you can hold an erection then.”
― Kristy Cunning, Four Psychos

“Pinocchio is a movie that resonates very deeply with you?” Ezekiel asks from far behind me, probably cautioned not to get too close so I can’t whammy him with my evil vagina powers.”
― Kristy Cunning, Four Psychos

“I’m trying to be your dirty, kinky rebound from the boring, drab Van Helsing. I’m not trying to be your gay best friend. My answer is that he’s not worth it, but I am,” he says with a completely serious expression.”
― Kristy Cunning, Gypsy Freak

“I’m going to need you to stop talking about that, because I’m hard as stone, and you have no idea the temptation I’m battling.” “My evil vagina is impressed with her powers of temptation,” I deadpan.”
― Kristy Cunning, Three Trials