Ge Prendiville

“I murdered all my staff. I’m terribly sorry. I thought they were someone else (my wife).”
― Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

“You can tell a lot about a person's character by how they do life's menial tasks. For example, I saw my neighbor washing dishes, and I could immediately tell that he was an adulterer by the way my wife's naked body glistened through his kitchen window.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.

“A woman has to change her nature if she is to be a wife. She has to learn to curb her tongue, to suppress her desires, to moderate her thoughts and to spend her days putting another first. She has to put him first even when she longs to serve herself or her children. She has to put him first even if she longs to judge for herself. She has to put him first even when she knows best. To be a good wife is to be a woman with a will of iron that you yourself have forged into a bridle to curb your own abilities. To be a good wife is to enslave yourself to a lesser person. To be a good wife is to amputate your own power as surely as the parents of beggars hack off their children's feet for the greater benefit of the family.”
― Philippa Gregory, The Other Queen

“A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid.”
― Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.