Bryce

“I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...”
― Mitch Hedberg

“My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.”
― Mitch Hedberg

“Colored people don’t like Little Black Sambo. Burn it. White people don’t feel good about Uncle Tom’s Cabin. Burn it. Someone’s written a book on tobacco and cancer of the lungs? The cigarette people are weeping? Burn the book. Serenity, Montag. Peace, Montag. Take your fight outside. Better yet, into the incinerator.”
― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

“There is a seed of courage hidden (often deeply, it is true) in the heart of the fattest and most timid hobbit, waiting for some final and desperate danger to make it grow. Frodo was neither very fat nor very timid; indeed, though he did not know it, Bilbo (and Gandalf) had thought him the best hobbit in the Shire. He thought he had come to the end of his adventure, and a terrible end, but the thought hardened him.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings