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“The abuser creates confusion because he has to. He can't control and intimidate you, he can't recruit people around him to take his side, he can't keep escaping the consequences of his actions, unless he can throw everyone off the track. When the world catches on the abuser, his power begins to melt away”
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
“If you could follow the thread of his conduct over a series of relationships, you would find out that his behaviour isn't as erratic as it looks; in fact, it follows a fairly consistent pattern from woman to woman, except for brief relationships or ones he isn't that serious about.”
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
“I came to realize through my experience with over two thousand abusers, that the abusive man wants to be a mystery. To get away with his behavior and to avoid having to face his problem, he needs to convince everyone around him- and himself- that his behavior makes no sense. He needs his partner to focus on everything except the real causes of his behavior”
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
“Inside the abuser's mind, there is a world of beliefs, perceptions, and responses that fits together in a surprisingly logical way. His behavior does make sense”
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
“IN ONE IMPORTANT WAY, an abusive man works like a magician: His tricks largely rely on getting you to look off in the wrong direction, distracting your attention so that you won't notice where the real action is. He draws you into focusing on the turbulent world of his feelings to keep your eyes turned away from the true cause of his abusiveness, which lies in how he thinks. He leads you into a convoluted maze, making your relationship with him a labyrinth of twists and turns. He wants you to puzzle over him, to try to figure him out, as though he were a wonderful but broken machine for which you need only to find and fix the malfunctioning parts to bring it roaring to its full potential. His desire, though he may not admit it even to himself, is that you wrack your brain in this way, so that you won't notice the patterns and logic of his behaviour, the consiousness behind the craziness.”
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
― Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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