shana

“The scariest thing about people like Terrence and my parents is not that they can be cruel. It's that they can be kind too.”
― Randa Abdel-Fattah, When Michael Met Mina

“Anxiety

I struggle with things that are as easy to others as breathing.

Like breathing. Like answering the phone. Or sending that email I have been meaning to for weeks.

I panic when I am asked out to dinner, even if it’s with someone I really want to see.

It’s hard for me to commit to anything, and when I do, I overthink it until my brain tells me I have made a mistake, like a rat caught in a maze, trying to claw its way out.

I don’t know why I am like this. People ask me why I can’t do anything without jumping through a thousand thoughts, like hoops. But sometimes I wonder if my inability to function in the real world is really such a bad thing. I wonder if that’s why I’ve spent so much time sheltered in my imagination.

And because I can’t live in the real world, I create worlds to belong to. And I wonder if the very thing I’ve always been told is my weakness, has all along, been my strength.”
― Lang Leav, Love Looks Pretty on You

“The Friendship Bond

There is that one friend whom you no longer speak to, who
is no longer part of your life. If you saw them across the
street, you would turn your head away and they would do
the same.
But if they ever called you in the middle of the night, you
would be there for them, sure as the sun. And you know that
if you were the one to make that call, no matter how much
time has passed or how distant you’ve become, they would
be there for you.”
― Lang Leav, Love Looks Pretty on You

“Like someone drew a face on me and carved it into my skin. Scooped out my insides. Just hollowed out, everything scraped clean. And then lit a fire in me and left me out in the cold.”
― Amber Smith, The way I am now