Addi (Max’s Version)

“Come home and shout at me.
Come home and fight with me.
Come home and break my heart if you must.
Just come home”
― Holly Black

“Is this what you imagined I'd be like, back in your rooms at Hollow Hall, when you thought of me and hated it? Is this how you pictured my eventual surrender?'

He looks absolutely mortified, but there's no disguising the flush of his cheeks, the shine of his eyes. 'Yes,' he says, sounding like the word was dragged out of him, his voice rough with desire.

'Then what did I do?' I ask, my voice low.

I reach out to press my hand against his thigh.

His gaze shimmers with a sharp spike of heat. There's a wariness in his face, though, and I realise he believes i might be asking him all this because I'm angry. Because I want to see him humiliated. But he keeps speaking anyway. 'I imagined you telling me to do with you whatever I liked.'

'Really?' I ask, and the surprised laugh in mny voice makes him meet my gaze.

'Along with some begging on your part. A little light grovelling.' He gives me an embarrassed smile. 'My fantasies were rife with overweening ambition.”
― Holly Black, The Queen of Nothing

“To the High Queen of Elfhame,

Above me is the same silvery moon that shines down on you. Looking at it makes me recall the glint of your blade pressed against my throat and other romantic moments.

I do not know what keeps you from returning
to the High Court—whether it is vexation
with me, or whether, having spent time in
the mortal world, you have come to believe
that a life free of the Folk is better than one
ruling over them.

In my most wretched hours, I believe you will
never come back.

Why would you, save for your ambition?
You have always known exactly what I am
and seen all my failings, all my weaknesses
and scars. I flattered myself that at moments
you had feelings for me other than contempt,
but even were that true, they would be but
watered wine beside the feast of your other,
greater desires.

And yet my heart is buried with you in the
strange soil of the mortal world, as it was
drowned with you in the cold waters of the
Undersea.

It was yours before I could admit it, and yours
it shall ever remain.

Cardan”
― Holly Black, The Queen of Nothing

“I don't know what to apologise for first,' I say. 'Cutting off your head or hesitating so long to do it. I didn't want to lose what little there was left of you. And I can't quite think past how wonderous it is that you're alive.'

'You don't know how long I've waited to hear those words,' he says. 'You don't want me dead.'

'If you joke about this, I am going to-'

'Kill me?' he asks, raising both black brows.

I think I might hate him after all.”
― Holly Black, The Queen of Nothing