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“I once saw a priest drop his keys and bend over and pick them up and it was just so human it ruined religion for me.”
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“Death’s greatest power is not that it can make people die, but that it can make people want to stop living.”
― My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry
― My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry

“Granny then said the real trick of life was that almost no one is entirely a shit and almost no one is entirely not a shit. The hard part of life is keeping as much on the not-a-shit side as one can.”
― My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry
― My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry

“There’s this thing that happens, let’s say at school where a bunch of guys are in the bathroom, at the urinal, laughing about some dork that made an anus of himself in gym. You’re all basically nice guys, right? You know right from wrong, and would not in a million years be brutal to the poor guy’s face. And then it happens: the dork was in the shitter. He comes out of the stall with this look. He heard everything. And you realize you’re not really that nice of a guy. This is what I would say if I could, to all smart people of the world with their dumb hillbilly jokes: We are right here in the stall. We can actually hear you.”
― Demon Copperhead
― Demon Copperhead

“The currency there is imagination; instead of buying something with coins, you buy it with a good story. Libraries aren’t known as libraries but as “banks,” and every fairy tale is worth a fortune.”
― My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry
― My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry
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