Luculus

“(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.”
― Stephen Colbert

“I am not young enough to know everything.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Someday, Locke Lamora,” he said, “someday, you’re going to fuck up so magnificently, so ambitiously, so overwhelmingly that the sky will light up and the moons will spin and the gods themselves will shit comets with glee. And I just hope I’m still around to see it.”
“Oh please,” said Locke. “It’ll never happen.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life,
unfortunately, it won't date them either.”
― Stephen Colbert