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Was it my idea to have him hurt me, or did he just let me think it was? And that gets sewn into them young, doesn’t it? Violence. I’ve had to go to some fairly extreme measures to defend myself. I used to think about older men, even beforeWas it my idea to have him hurt me, or did he just let me think it was? And that gets sewn into them young, doesn’t it? Violence. I’ve had to go to some fairly extreme measures to defend myself. I used to think about older men, even before Lesley. I had an imaginary sugar daddy; I had affairs in my head with actors and musicians thrice my age; I had intentional and prolonged eye-contact with my dad’s friends. Whether I’m in control or losing it, I’ve always had a power thing, I think....more