Claudia

“I've found, though, that people are more likely to share their personal experiences if you go first, so that's why I always keep an eleven-point list of what went wrong in my childhood to share with them. Also I usually crack open a bottle of tequila to share with them, because alcohol makes me less nervous, and also because I'm from the South, and in Texas we offer drinks to strangers even when we're waiting in line at the liquor store. In Texas we call that '_southern hospitality_.' The people who own the liquor store call it 'shoplifting.' Probably because they're Yankees.

I'm not allowed to go back to that liquor store.”
― Jenny Lawson, Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir

“Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.”
― Lemony Snicket

“If I'd have been thinking I would have left some Woolite and my delicates by the sink for him to rinse out, but you never think to turn your pet raccoon into a tiny butler until it's too late.”
― Jenny Lawson, Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir

“Have been unavoidably detained by the world. Expect us when you see us.”
― Neil Gaiman, Stardust