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I think it’s because he’s what all the songs are singing about. Every single fucking one of them, they’re singing about him.
“My Uber driver asked if I’m in finance. Gag me.”
― Slap Shot
― Slap Shot
“What was with the penalty you got earlier? I saw you chirping that dude.” “He liked one of Emmy’s photos on Instagram last week, and it pissed me off. The hit was worth the two-minute timeout I got in the sin bin.” “You’re joking.”
― Slap Shot
― Slap Shot
“He gives me a wave and flips his hat backward before walking toward us. Jesus Christ. Shit like that should be illegal for men to do in public.”
― Slap Shot
― Slap Shot
“What are the chances of dying of a heart attack at twenty-three? Seriously, you’re googling this?”
― Throttled
― Throttled
“Sam Penny in that white T-shirt, in his black jeans and those old Cons he wears, looking like that, kissing like that—it’s where you hope you’ll go when your head touches the pillow.”
― The Conditions of Will
― The Conditions of Will
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