ceyda

“Ne türden olursa olsun, toplumsal zorunlulukları yerine getirmeyi düşününce, yalnızca düşününce, aklım allak bullak oluyor.”
― Pessoa Fernando, The Book of Disquiet

“Good night. I'm Cinderella without her prince. Do you know where to find me in Tokyo? You won't see me again.”
― Osamu Dazai, Schoolgirl

“To live a dispassionate and cultured life in the open air of ideas, reading, dreaming and thinking of writing -- a life so slow it constantly verges on tedium, but pondered enough never to find itself there. To live this life far from emotions and thought, living it only in the thought of emotions and in the emotion of thoughts. To goldenly stagnate in the sun, like a murky pond surrounded by flowers. To possess, in the shade, that nobility of spirit that makes no demands on life. To be in the whirl of the worlds like dust of flowers, sailing through the afternoon air on an unknown wind and falling, in the torpor of dusk, wherever it falls, lost among larger things. To be this with a sure understanding, neither happy nor sad, grateful to the sun for its brilliance and to the stars for their remoteness. To be no more, have no more, want no more... The music of the hungry beggar, the song of the blind man, the relic of the unknown wayfarer, the tracks in the desert of the camel without burden or destination...”
― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

“I remembered the moment I read a novel for the first time.

The texture of the soft paper touching my fingertips. The black letters blooming on a white field. The texture of the page I folded with my hands.

「 It isn’t important to read the letters. The important thing is where the letters lead you. 」

My mother, who loved books, used to say this. At least for me, it wasn’t just a saying.

The gaps in the black print. My own little snow garden lay in between the letters. This space, which was too small for someone to go into, was a perfect place for a child who liked to hide. Every time a pleasant sound was heard, the letters stacked up like snow.

In it, I became a hero. I had adventures, loved and dreamt. Thus, I read, read and read again.

I remembered the first time I was about to finish a book. It was like being deprived of the world.

The protagonist and supporting characters walked off with the sentence ‘They lived happily ever after’ and I was left alone at the end of the story. In my vanity and sense of betrayal, my young self struggled because I couldn’t stand the loneliness.

「This… is the end? 」

Perhaps it was similar to learning about death. For the first time, I realized that something was finite.”
― Singshong, 전지적 독자 시점 1 [Jeonjijeog Dogja Sijeom 1]